I have been in Mongolia exactly one month, the adventure has not been easy, and just about everything that could go wrong has.
Looking back to the first week of training, we were asked what strengths we bring to the team here in Mongolia. I said “flexibility” and "intentionality". I'm sure God chuckled just a bit after He heard those words....
A week into our trip, my team (AKA the DIVAS) was placed in a small province called Khentii. We were there about a week, and as you know, one of my teammates had to leave to go back to the US because of family stuff. Because of this, and other things, our teaching schedule and living situation changed…and then changed again…and again. Three times in one week to be exact. Change always seems huge when you’re in the middle of it. I tried to roll with the punches, but I got caught up in the weight of it all, and started to feel totally overwhelmed.
The first time we were promised a replacement team member from the capital city, UB, but couldn’t come at last minute, so we got someone else for the final week of classes. I have had a very hard time adjusting to this new member, it has brought back a lot of different emotions, insecurities, and struggles from my past. What I am finding is that no matter how much therapy you recieve or how well you have worked through your "issues", there will always be triggers and tactics in this life that the enemy will try to use to get you off track, especially when you are living on mission and intentionally being the hands and feet of Jesus. It is in those moments that you need to keep your eyes focused on Jesus, because in a split second you will find yourself treading water and gasping for a breath, just like Peter did when he was walking on water and began to look at the storms around him.
What I am finding is that when I am intentionally focusing on Jesus, I am reminded,
"Fear not Carleigh, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you will not be burned, and the flame will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, Your Savior. (Isiah 43:1-3)."
Once I recognized my inability to pull myself up by the boot straps, I began to lean into Jesus, and reminded of another promise, " Behold, I am making all things new. I am starting with you (Carleigh). I want you to be evidence through out the universe because I have restored and redeemed you (Revelation 21:5)."
The Lord is using my brokenness, my insecurities, my struggles, and my roller coaster of emotions, to let his light shine through me because it is a constant reminder to the world that we don't have to have everything together, each one of us has different forms of brokeness, but when we allow Him in, He uses them for His glory!
I am choosing to not believe the lies.
I will fight to believe the truth and the promises He has given me.
I will cling to God even in the dark, believing and knowing...
the SUN WILL Rise!
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Looking back to the first week of training, we were asked what strengths we bring to the team here in Mongolia. I said “flexibility” and "intentionality". I'm sure God chuckled just a bit after He heard those words....
A week into our trip, my team (AKA the DIVAS) was placed in a small province called Khentii. We were there about a week, and as you know, one of my teammates had to leave to go back to the US because of family stuff. Because of this, and other things, our teaching schedule and living situation changed…and then changed again…and again. Three times in one week to be exact. Change always seems huge when you’re in the middle of it. I tried to roll with the punches, but I got caught up in the weight of it all, and started to feel totally overwhelmed.
The first time we were promised a replacement team member from the capital city, UB, but couldn’t come at last minute, so we got someone else for the final week of classes. I have had a very hard time adjusting to this new member, it has brought back a lot of different emotions, insecurities, and struggles from my past. What I am finding is that no matter how much therapy you recieve or how well you have worked through your "issues", there will always be triggers and tactics in this life that the enemy will try to use to get you off track, especially when you are living on mission and intentionally being the hands and feet of Jesus. It is in those moments that you need to keep your eyes focused on Jesus, because in a split second you will find yourself treading water and gasping for a breath, just like Peter did when he was walking on water and began to look at the storms around him.
What I am finding is that when I am intentionally focusing on Jesus, I am reminded,
"Fear not Carleigh, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you will not be burned, and the flame will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, Your Savior. (Isiah 43:1-3)."
Once I recognized my inability to pull myself up by the boot straps, I began to lean into Jesus, and reminded of another promise, " Behold, I am making all things new. I am starting with you (Carleigh). I want you to be evidence through out the universe because I have restored and redeemed you (Revelation 21:5)."
The Lord is using my brokenness, my insecurities, my struggles, and my roller coaster of emotions, to let his light shine through me because it is a constant reminder to the world that we don't have to have everything together, each one of us has different forms of brokeness, but when we allow Him in, He uses them for His glory!
I am choosing to not believe the lies.
I will fight to believe the truth and the promises He has given me.
I will cling to God even in the dark, believing and knowing...
the SUN WILL Rise!